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I had to say Sorry to God

 Do you trust God?  If you asked me that question I would probably answer it before you got to the question mark.  Of course I do!  I am a Believer, I’m saved, and I live my life wanting to please Him.   But I realized something while in church on Sunday as my Pastor was speaking….my actions didn’t display that trust and I had to tell God, “I’m sorry for not trusting you.”

I believed God had given me this idea for an event to do with the non-profit.  I inquired, researched and got all the information but didn’t follow thru.   I hesitated locking in the details because in my OWN thoughts I didn’t know if it would work.  And in doing so…time has lapsed and I will probably have to re-submit everything.  

So on Sunday as my Pastor is preaching I hear God say to me…”I gave you the idea for you to follow thru and make it happen, but you didn’t trust me.” Sorry Pastor but for a few minutes I stopped listening and it felt like it was just me in the room.  Awwwww man…I didn’t trust Him.  God can’t move on our behalf…if we don’t move.  I was fearful and it prevented me from moving forward and trusting God.  I’m sharing this because many times we think that if we don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t have sex, don’t steal and don’t lie…we are all good with God.  But we can grieve His spirit by not trusting him.

I immediately said “I’m sorry”…I think I may even have said it out loud LOL and I’m encouraging myself to be obedient to the things God shares with me.  His Word tells me that He does ALL things for the good to them that love Him and are called according to His purpose.  I believe that is me so I believe everything he directs for me is for the good.

I’m sharing this revelation to encourage you to be mindful of what we declare to God (I trust you Lord!) and what our actions show (but I’m not gonna follow thru, because I don’t really trust you).  I was disobedient to the assignment He gave me.  But not again…I’m not beating myself up about it, because now that I’ve acknowledged it and am positioning myself to do better in it, God is pleased.

Lesson learned. 

As a believer…we will always make mistakes.  It’s a given we are human beings.  But God knows this.  The thing is that if we trust Him, and show it in our walk…the mistakes will get less.  And I know it is hard to let go of things and let God…but try.  Don’t talk yourself into believing that you can’t let go.  You can, you just gotta learn how.  It’s a process.  Be patient with yourself…but also be willing.

Proverbs 3:5

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.


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